When I saw the advertisement for Lisa Kudrow’s new show “Who Do You Think You Are,” I knew there was no missing it. All my life I was aware of my grandmother, Nancy’s, tragic family past. Family, she believed was lost completely to the Russia famine. I was drawn to the show, watching religiously, the entire time wishing I could somehow find my family as the celebrities spotlighted on the show had found theirs. But, it seemed so complicated, and expensive, and the information I had was spotty, at best.
I knew for sure her father died, only hours away from her sister’s passing. I also knew she had a baby brother who also died of starvation, a memory which brought instant tears decades later. I knew my grandmother was on the brink of death herself, when she was taken from her home to the hospital by her teacher. This was before the schools were shut down and my grandmother was in third grade, the highest level of education she received. She spent weeks in the hospital, slowly regaining her strength, and when she returned home, her family was gone.From there she walked across Russia, trekking with strangers, dodging bombs along with way. Eventually, she ended up a German war slave, working on farms and slaughtering cows, until she was arrested and thrown in jail for two weeks because of a migraine, worsened by the punch in face she received. Once out of jail, she was placed on another farm and her slaughtering days were bless fully over. Some time later, she ended up in a German War camp in Munich, married to my grandfather with my Aunt Lucy and my mother in tow. It was in that war camp they received news they had been sponsored to come over to America- Branford, Connecticut to be precise, by my grandfather’s cousin.
That was all I knew. It seems like a lot but peering at those few paragraphs, it’s a sad representation of an entire life lived. There were more blanks than there were details, a fact that burned inside me for as long as I could remember. I always wanted to ask my grandmother, but the memory was always too fresh, the pain to raw despite the decades past, so I waited for her to volunteer details instead of prying them painfully out of her.
On my own, I started to research, trying to understand more. To know my grandmother’s pain more clearly and maybe- just maybe find a living family member out there somewhere. It was always my dream to reunite my grandmother with her family, lost so long ago.
I realize now, it would have been completely impossible without the internet. I tried years ago, but the internet was still too new and I came up with nothing. I even wrote Oprah in hopes she would be moved enough to step in and help. Again, I got no where. It wasn’t until I saw Lisa Kudrow’s own story, I decided to give it a go again. She found family after most of her ancestors were killed in the Holocaust. With our family’s pasts, not so different. Why couldn’t I?
So, I took to the internet, signed up for the free trail on Ancestory.com, which gave me no information, and turned out to not be so free. But, I had a few documents-A second copy of my grandmother’s birth certificate, translated by a Russian co-worker years ago. My mother’s baptism certificate and an information card. So, I took it upon myself, Ancestory.com be damned, and launched myself onto the Russian version of Google.
Now, I don’t read Russian, or speak it, but there was a wonderful tool called Bing Translator, which made researching a snap. It was on Google.RU …I found nothing. I couldn’t find any town names that matched the name on my grandma’s birth certificate, not the city or the region. Matching the last name proved to be difficult too. I had three spellings of it, Russian translated to Polish, Polish translated to German. Which was right? After researching, I was able to explain away two of the translations and come up with the name I was sure was correct. Vokryachko. Feeling like I hit gold and started searching for anyone with that last name. I found just one. Vadim Vokryachko. He was on Facebook, but there was no picture and no information available. I sent an email anyway.
I couldn’t help but be disappointed when I got no reply. I was defeated. Was my grandmother the last of her family? Did they truly all die, every last Vokryachko? Was the famine so vicious, it even wiped the entire region off the map? I had convinced myself it was so.
Until Tues, September 14. It was my birthday. I was hoping for a great surprise. Waiting for a response on my book from an agent, I was praying I was wishing for a wonderful answer on my birthday. That’s what birthdays are for right? To wish, and wish big? I had no idea an even bigger wish would come true.
Below is the exact conversation as it went down. I will fill in with comments in red as I go along. I have kept the conversation unedited, as it happened. Keep in mind there are language differences along the way:
Virginia Poulton Merante March 22 at 2:04pm
Hello,
I am trying to locate the Vokrachko (spelling could be wrong) family from Deznevka, Dmidovich Russia. I thought I would contact you to see if you are of any relation. I realize it is a shot in the dark.
Regards,
Virginia This was my initial email, back on March 22nd.
Vadim Vokryachko September 13 at 2:03pm
Hi, the Vokrachko is not a common surname so it is very likely that Vokrachko which you looking for is my relative but unfortunately I have no any information about any relatives from Deznevka.
Regards,
Vadim
Virginia Poulton Merante September 13 at 2:38pm
My grandmother is from Deznevka. Her father was an engineer that worked on the railroads in the area. Most of her family died during the famine. That is the most I know. If you find any of this matches with family stories...there is a good chance we are related. Unfortunately, no documents survived and only the ones drawn up in Poland are available. It would be wonderful to know someone else survived. If you happen to find there could be a connection, please contact me.
If not, thank you for getting back to me. My best to you.
Regards
Virginia
I initially heard from him on the 13th, but still knew little details. The chances were still too slim in my opinion.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 9:05am
Hi,
it was very exciting moment for me to find relative so suddenly! I just looked at map and found out that Deznevka is railway station in Jewish Autonomous region in Russia! I am trying to organize all information I have about my grandfathers' family and will send you it soon. But I am absolutely sure that we are relatives!:-) I have got information about my grand grandfather just few days ago and started to find relatives so your message was very interesting. In brief: our ancestors was from Prague, their original surname was Vokracek or sometheing similiar. More details I will send some later.
Best regards,
Vadim Vokryachko
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 9:33am
I have my mother’s birth certificate form Munich Germany. It says my grandmother’s name was Najieja Wokraczko. Now, that is a translation…which in researching I have found it translates down to Vokryachko in Russian. That is the problem with the few documents I have. They are all translated. I also have a identification card translated to English from German.
Vokrachko, Nadezda Antonovna born may 6th 1923
village of Deznevka, Dmidovich region, Birth recorded in the city of Verno.
That is EVERYTHING I have. Like I said, the translations are poor, but maybe my grandmothers name, which ever translation is correct will sound correct. As far as I know, her entire immediate family died of famine. She lived because her school took her to a hospital. When she got out a month later, everyone was gone. She was about 11. Started traveling with strangers out of Russia. I am sure her parents had relatives-sisters- brothers. Or maybe one of her siblings lived and she never knew it? Like I said, her father helped design the railroad system in that area, so maybe that will sound familiar. I am trying to find out more information from my aunt. I dint want to mention this to my grandmother until I know for sure if we are related.
Good luck and keep me posted.
Regards,
Virginia
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 10:19am
Hi,
according to story I have from my father:
My grandfather name is
Vokryachko Alexandr ANTONOVICH! was born 11 Oct 1911 near Jitomir city , Ukraine. His parents -
ANTON and Marina was working in
RAILROAD till Second World War(and probaly after). So it looks like our gradgrandfather is common root in genealogy tree!
My grandfather - Alexander Antonovich maried before 1941. Was military mobilized in 1941. He had older syster who was married to military man from Osetia(probably died in SWW). There was three brothers and one syster - Anton Vokryachko's children. Names of two of them is Alexander and Konstantin.
I have more information about children of brothers of my grandfather - Alexander Antonovich but as I understand you grandmother could not know them.
I will try to find foto of my grandgranfather - Anton.
This is where my heart jumped a beat. (I highlighted in blue the areas that struck me.)
My grandmothers name Vokrachko, Nadezda (this is one of the many translations of her name, which eventually became Nancy) Antonovna .
His grandfathers name Vokryachko Alexander ANTONOVICH (remember, there are translation problems.
It was too close to ignore. And the Railroad connection, it was to close not to pick up the phone and call my grandmother.
When I got her on the phone, I said “Gram, I have something important to ask you.” She said “Ya, ya. Ok, ask me.” I said “What is your father’s name.” She said “Anton.”
I took a deep breath and said, “Do you know who Alexander Antonovich Vokryachko is?” and she said, “That’s my brother.” I was still on the phone with her for the bottom conversation.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 10:27am
Sorry. Father says that Konstantin is name of Anton Vokryachko brother but not of his son.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 10:33am
OMG!! This is exciting! I had to call my grandmother. Her father-Anton! Talking to her now.
Her mother’s name, Marina, already rang a bell. She has long told me I am the spitting image of my great grandmother, often taking my face in her hands and staring long and hard at me, saying, “Ya, Ya.”
I confirmed my great grandmother’s name was Marina.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 10:34am
I will send fotos of Anton in couple hours.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 10:39am
OMG! Your grandfather is my grandmother’s brother. We are cousins. Brother -Constantine, sister Vera, little brother-Demetri (vera and demetri died from starvation), Ulian??, Alexander of course.. Sura.. Alexander was the older, Mania ( I’m spelling as best as I can while she is talking.. And my grandmother. She is spitting out names. 10 kids…
Who is alive?? Do you know?
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 10:45am
You have photos? Of your fathers parents? My grandmother never had any. She often grabs my face and says I look just like her mother. I’m in shock here!
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 10:46am
I’m sorry. I meant our great-grandparents...
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 10:47am
If you confirm those siblings, then we will know for sure. Then get ready, cuz you have lots of cousins.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 11:10am
Ok. I have two fotos. please give me your email
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 11:12am
Do those sibling names sound right? If so, then I am thinking you are my mothers 1st cousin. Is your father still alive?
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 11:15am
Yes. I am 36, living in Baku,Azerbaijan. My father is 60, living in Pyatigorsk, Russia.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 11:18am
Ok.. That would make your father and my mother 1st cousins. Your grandfather would be Alexandre? Is that right? I hope its right.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 11:20am
Just sent fotos have you received it? my fater is Valery Alexandrovich Vokryachko. His father is Alexander Antonovich Vokryachko
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 11:21am
Ok.. good.. We are on track then. Is Alexander alive or any of his siblings? If my grandmother could talk with one of her brothers or sisters, it would be amazing. She thought they were all dead.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 11:22am
My grandmother is 87 now but healthier than I am. Can you confirm all the siblings? I want to be sure we have this right before I announce you to the family.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 11:24am
Unfortunately Alexander already died. I have recent fotos of his grave and grave of his second wife - my grandmother.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 11:32am
Yes.I have just called my father to inform him about our conversation. Looks like everything is correct. He also gave me information about our relative who can give more information about Anton. I will contact him but I beleive it will take a while. He live in Kazahstan and reads email irregular.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 11:35am
This is amazing! Well. Hello cousin! You have no idea how long I have been wanting to find her family...my family. I’m still waiting for the email. Did we get the email address right?
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 11:42am
I am amazed too:-) Whole my life I was sure that I have Ukrainian roots - as you may know KO is ukrainian surname ending. But two weeks ago I have visited my father and he shocked me by information about my Chech roots. He get this information just few months ago.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 11:44am
I just got that. That is Alexander? And who is in the other picture?
He looks like my grandmother. Very distinct across the eyes. I wish I had pics of her when she was younger.
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 12:00pm
Fist foto of Anton Vokryachko - your grandmother's father. Second foto contains him and other other people. May be your grandmother can recognize them?
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 12:03pm
i just emailed you. I’m going to take a ride to my grandmothers and show her. I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit of a shock to her. You have no idea the gift you have given her. If I have internet over there, I will let you know how it goes.
At this point, I was throwing shorts on and printing out the photos. I knew my grandmother would be waiting to hear back from me about our new found family, but she had no idea I had in hand a picture of her father. She had not one picture of her family. It would be the first time in over 70 years she would get to see him. I drove to her house, with tears in my eyes, knowing what her reaction would be. I recorded it for my family to see. I am trying to figure out how to upload it on this site.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 3:21pm
I am sending you a link to the video I made while showing my grandmother the picture of her father- the first time she saw him in over 70 yrs. My mother showed up too…which is your father’s first cousin. This is the most amazing day!
Vadim Vokryachko September 14 at 3:34pm
have you send a link by mail? I really want to see this touching moment.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 3:37pm
Youtube deleted it because it is too long. I’m uploading to Facebook instead. Hopefully it will work. If not, I have to wait until my husband gets home to help me out. That is as far as my technical knowledge goes. I hope family has started to send you friend’s requests. My mother will be shortly. She is Genenieve Kustra Poulton. Please urge your family, if they are on Facebook to 'friend' us.
At this point, the conversation continued on my Facebook Page under the video link. Here is some of the comments:
Virginia Poulton Merante: This is the video of my grandmother seeing the pic of her father. Sorry..it was emotional and sometimes the camera pointed at nothing..
Tuesday at 3:44pm: Vadim Vokryachko could not hold back the tears looking at that
Tuesday at 4:11pm : Virginia Poulton Merante It been an emotional day!! You have no idea the gift you gave her. She kept saying.. I have my father back. I have my father back. Oh and she wants you and your father to come visit!!
Tuesday at 4:13pm :Vadim Vokryachko I will pass all news to father tomorrow. I am sure he will be amazed too
Later that night, I was re-reading and commented back on the events. It was such a whirlwind, I realized I missed a few details.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 14 at 6:21pm
Just reading this back. There was actually 10 kids. 4 boys, but one died at 1 1/2 years old- Dimitri… So it makes sense that only 3 boys would be talked of. Maybe, there is only talk of one sister because that is all Alexander thought lived. My grandmother said that there was a girl born first but she died…then there was Alexander. I’m trying to ration this down to get the 1 sister, 3 brothers from Alexander’s point of view.
One sister was married…so that is probably the one that lived. One died the same day as our great-grandfather. There was my grandmother, and the younger sister that disappeared after the train was bombed. So that is 3 siblings they thought were dead. There was the first one that died soon after birth. I’m only off one boy at this point, but it makes sense that he (Alexander) would only talk of the ones that lived. Can you imagine never seeing your family again like that? Also, I mentioned how some of her paperwork were reissued, 2nd copy. She said he had all his documents in his briefcase at the train station and it was stolen. So every one of the children would have had to have copies reissued.
Vadim Vokryachko September 15 at 6:16am
Information about 1 syster and 3 brothers appeared by refreshing memory of syster of second wife of Alexader Antonovich. And she was not absolutely sure. He did not like to speak a lot about parents and sublings. There are also traces of Vokryachko family in Jewish Autonomous Region in Russia. In addition to information that at least one brother or syster were living in there , yesterday I found foto of their Governor. It is very difficult to find differences between him and my father:-)
Vadim Vokryachko September 15 at 6:23am
And I certainly join in congratulating you on your birthday!:-)
(Yes…It was my birthday. The best I ever had)
Virginia Poulton Merante September 15 at 7:02am
Thank you! I do see that. That is so strange! Any possibility there is relation?
Virginia Poulton Merante September 15 at 7:15am
I would like to hear about you and your family, start sharing family stories. I started a blog last year which I meant to use as a way of sharing my grandmothers story. I didn’t do much with it. Now its time to start to working on it again, so it will be there for generations to come. I can add your stories and any your family want to add. It can be stories about you in particular, or your father, or stories going back to Anton and before.
Vadim Vokryachko September 15 at 7:37am
Yes. It is very likely. (Relation to the Governor) Taking into account that Jewish Autonomous Region are "somewhere in Siberia":-) It is near Baikal lake. There are also Dezhnevka railway station...Just check by google maps.
Vadim Vokryachko September 15 at 8:22am
One correction: Dezhnevka village are in Smidovichsky district but not Dmidovichsky. Russian transcription: Дежнёвка в Смидовичском районе.
When I was at my grandmothers, my camera ( which is actually my phone) only had 17 minutes of tape time, which was a shame because she shared more information. One thing she kept repeating was that she was from Smidovichsky. I kept saying none of her paperwork stated that. And she insisted the paperwork was wrong. I shouldn’t have been surprised, with all the translation issues. Turns out she was correct. Smidovichsky.
Virginia Poulton Merante September 15 at 3:10pm
Yes!!! My grandmother kept saying it was Smidovichsky and I said, no.. her paperwork didnt say any of that. And she said.. no it was Smidovichsky. You are on track! Have you found out anything else? I keep getting emails from my cousins saying how do you know.. how can you be sure? I have to reply to them.
Are you looking in Ukraine or in Russia? I only searched Russia and could never find anything. On Google.ru I would like to actually see where this all started and in too many cases, ended. Also, are you thinking we are Jewish? I know my grandmother said she was catholic. I cannot remember the exact term but it was prominent in Russia at that time.
By this time, Vadim, being on the other side of the earth was in bed. It was a remarkable day for me and my family. Now that I have found my grandmothers family, I am determined to get her story down and document the information he finds also. There are a lot of gaps to fill in and record, not only for future generations to know where they came from, but for those who were lost yet never forgotten through the years.
